Doritos is at it again, and this year they’re taking Pepsi MAX along for the ride. The Crash The Super Bowl contest finalists have been chosen, and as usual it’s a mixed bag of mostly awful commercials. It seems like there’s a reason that big ad agencies and big production companies do big commercials.

The five Doritos finalists are below. When we can bring ourselves to watch the awfulness that is sure to surround the Pepsi MAX entries, we’ll post them too!

This spot, called House Sitting, is the best entry by a longshot. Based solely on the number of comments (Doritos will not release the vote count) it would appear to not be doing as well as some of the others, but that’s probably because it doesn’t feature women, sexual innuendo, or somebody acting thoroughly retarded.

Next up is Birthday Wish, our favorite for runner-up. We honestly wouldn’t mind if this one won, either. It’s funny, well-written, and has a great concept. Who doesn’t want a robot best friend?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vV36vjUqxQY

Third we have Pug Attack, and since this one is the so horribly bad it will most likely end up winning. I mean that’s how people vote, right? Look for a video with someone acting like an idiot where the entire concept is based around something breaking or someone falling down?

Our advice for winning the Crash The Super Bowl contest would be to shoot something that could be seen on America’s Funniest Videos, but you know, shoot it on a RED camera so it looks pretty.

Hang in there everyone, you’re doing great!

Fourth we have Adam & Eve, a nicely-shot piece that starts off promising but then falls flat. The producers of this seemed to have forgotten to write a joke, we’re not sure. Maybe the joke is that Adam is gay? Either way, this one just doesn’t go anywhere, but since it has a woman with hair barely covering her breasts it will probably do well in the contest.

Finally, we bring you the fittingly titled The Best Part. The title is fitting because in the ad, they say the best part is what you’re left with after finishing the bag, and the best part of this commercial is when it’s over. Really, it seems like it should be funny but it’s just stupid. We’re not sure if it’s the main actor not really selling the joke or if the joke just can’t be funny in any capacity, but… well, just watch it.