With the big game fast approaching, it’s time to take a quick look at who’s going to be advertising what on Super Sunday. While all of the slots have long been sold out, this list will not be final until just before the game, so we will be be sure to update once all of the major ads have been announced. And remember, we’ll be here the day of the game giving you the commercials just as fast as we can… give you the commercials, so be sure to come back early and often.

Without further ado, here are your big Super Bowl commercial contenders…

Anheiser-Busch

Yeah, you knew this was coming. It’s looking like they’ll have around 8 30-second spots, though that can always change. For anyone wondering how much money it takes to advertise that much during the Super Bowl: $24,000,000. Do you know what else you can do with $24 million? Buy this Waterfront Oakville Estate on Canada’s Gold Coast and still have change leftover. Or maybe, you know, like, feed hungry people or rebuild countries destroyed by natural disasters or something.

Audi

Audi can always be counted on for something hot, fast, and exciting. Jason Statham isn’t exactly hot this year (but to be fair, The Expendables killed everyone’s career, even Governer Schwarzenegger’s), so maybe they should be looking for a new stickman.

Best Buy

So everyone’s least favorite big box electronics retailer is apparently going to introduce a revolution in retailing. Our money is something along the lines of actually offering decent customer service, a good value for your money, and knowledgeable staff, since Best Buy apparently hasn’t yet discovered those retail traits. This is Best Buy’s first ever Super Bowl ad, so let’s not everyone go to the bathroom when they show up, okay?

Update: So it looks like their big announcement may be regarding a recently leaked internal memo that outlines a buy-back program they’re about to launch for electronics purchased at the retailer. You can basically trade back things you buy there for a percentage of the original price, the final value being pro-rated based on how long ago you bought it. Before you all run out and buy useless junk that plugs into the wall, you should know that this will be a subscription-based deal. Hmmm, sounds about as useless as anything I’ve ever heard of coming out of Best Buy.

BMW North America

This year BMW is rumored to be introducing their electric vehicle, the ActiveE (what does that even mean?), but that’s all speculation and general industry scuttlebutt. This is the first time they’ve advertised in the game for over a decade, so hopefully they make it count.

Bridgestone

As in years past, Bridgestone is sponsoring the halftime show. They consistently bring better creative stuff to the table than the cars on which their tires are installed, which frankly just astounds us. Here’s a little reminder from last year’s game:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=632pCs5rLDw

Careerbuilder

They’ve got one spot this year, and somehow PETA seems to think it’s bringing back the chimps. All we really have to say about this rumor is: we hope it’s right!

Cars.com

Cars.com typically has funny, creative spots that involve some form of assault and battery, but in a funny way! We hear the two spots this year will focus on “how Cars.com ‘drives confidence’ with expert and consumer vehicle reviews, helping car buyers pick the right car”, which to us kind of sounds like code for “boring”, but we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Chrysler

Chrysler could be picking up two spots this year, which leads us to wonder where they found $6 million dollars laying around. Oh, that’s right, in the taxes that we pay our US Government! They may be introducing two new car brands, which means that’s probably a good time to introduce yourself to some new beers from the fridge.

Coca-Cola

Coca-Cola usually has two spots during the game, some as long as a minute. Doesn’t that seem kind of arrogant, like “you know who we are, do we even really need to go through with this?” They’re ads are usually fun to look at but kind of lack that spark that makes them as fun as the Pepsi or Bud Light spots.

E-Trade

Is E-Trade actually still in business? As one of the few firms to survive from the dot-com era, they probably need these advertising opportunities to keep their name in the public consciousness. Seriously, didn’t you think they were just… gone? Well they’re not, and the puking baby may be back to be all precocious and not-aging and everything.

General Motors

No one is quite sure how much inventory they bought or what the heck they’re going to talk about, but hopefully it has something to do a car that can turn into a boat, a helicopter, and shoot lasers out of its headlights.

GoDaddy.com

GoDaddy is obviously bringing back the lovely and talented Danica Patrick, as well as the Biggest Loser star Jillian Michaels. If any of you were hoping this year’s GoDaddy spots would be, uhm, good, then we have the magic words for you: “produced in-house by GoDaddy Productions”. Yeah, we’re sorry.

HomeAway, Inc.

This vacation-home rental company premiered at the 2010 Super Bowl with a spot featuring Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo, in a spot that can best be described as “almost funny”. It’s like they gave Chevy Chase the freedom to be Clark Griswold again, but then sapped the life out of every single joke by having the voice-over artist explain it to you. Hopefully this time around they manage to entertain us just as much without totally blowing the humor.

Here’s the 2010 spot, in case you missed it.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCbGh-8inzw

Hyundai Motor North America

Yeah, what can we say about this? Hyundai usually classes the joint up with Jeff Bridges and some Mozart, so if anything it should be a nice reprieve from beer commercials and GoDaddy’s┬ánonsensical garishness.

Kia North America

Kia had arguably one of the best commercials of not just the Super Bowl 2010, but of the entire year. We’re hoping this year they manage to come up with something new and innovative, and not just “the further adventures of sock monkey and friends”.

Here’s last year’s spot. You know, that cute one that your mother-in-law is probably still asking whether you’ve seen or not?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJqs3D2vv4I

Mars

We were initially super stoked that our red neighbor was finally putting themselves out there and starting to build a viable brand image, we’ve since been informed that this ad buy is from the candy company, not the planet. We think Mars could really use some good press these days, especially since even people on Mars have already heard of Snickers and M&Ms.

Mercedes-Benz

One 60-second spot in the fourth quarter for Mercedes-Benz means… about 60 seconds of people talking about how they love their Mercedes and how it’s totally awesome and it talks and keeps you company on long drives and stuff. Call us crazy, but $6 million seems like a ton of money to spend on watching a bunch of people talk about how amazing their car is, even for Mercedes-Benz.

Doritos And PepsiMax

Both advertisers have a similar buy and creative: they are the co-sponsors of the Crash The Super Bowl contest. The top three winners for each product, as voted on by the visitors to the website, will air during the Super Bowl.

Now how brilliant is this? You spend $18 million on time slots during the game, but spend ZERO on advertising and production for a commercial. Amazing.

Pizza Hut

This is their first time advertising during the game itself. They’ve purchased one spot during the first half of the game, and will focus on how Pizza Hut something something consumers’ lives something something big game and throughout the year something. Sorry, it just kind of sounds like Pizza Hut is throwing away $3 million.

Skechers

Skechers single spot is of undetermined length, and undetermined creative focus, on an undetermined product. We know that not everyone can make a brilliantly creative and innovative commercial, so we’re hoping Skechers focuses on exposing people to their brand and piquing the viewers’ interest. That said, we’re really looking forward to finding out what Skechers are (we’re kidding, we know they make pants).

Teleflora

Teleflora has one spot of undetermined length to air during the second quarter. They are apparently planning to announce their creative focus sometime in January, though we imagine it to be something along the lines of “There is another national floral delivery company besides 1-800-Flowers! Really, there is! Please use us, our web address is shorter than 1800 Flowers and you don’t have to type and numbers!”

Volkswagen Of America

Volkswagen is expected to run at least two 30-second spots. We’re hoping that the “at least” turns out to be literal, since Volkswagen excels at crafting creative, engaging, and funny and/or touching stories out of their 60-second time slots during Super Bowl Sunday, that don’t club you over the head with their brands or bore you to tears with new features.

You may remember the ridiculously titled “PunchDub” from the 2010 game (it’s called PUNCH BUGGY!), but I’ve included a look back at a long lost favorite called “Big Day’. It’s a beautiful, heartbreaking story.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGaEnBt8TA8