First off, that title is a bit misleading: we obviously haven’t watched every single Doritos runner-up, there are just way too many entries and way too little time. The real point here is to highlight fantastic entries from the past few years that for whatever bizarre reason either didn’t make it to the finals, or made it, and didn’t win.

It seems like every year there are finalists in the Crash The Super Bowl contest that either don’t deserve to be there, don’t deserve to win, or both (I’m looking at  you, magic-eight-ball-in-the-crotch winner from 2009). Whether it’s bad acting, a bad idea, or just plain not being funny (again, looking at you Free Doritos), we’ve always suspected that there were better options lurking beneath the surface.

Let’s start with 2009, since that’s what we’re apparently already obsessed with. Free Doritos took home the top prize that year, but in our opinion didn’t deserve it by a long shot. Horrible, horrible acting and a punchline worthy of “Ow, My Balls!” had us shaking our heads wondering what went wrong… and then we remembered that the same people who voted on the contest also had a hand in subjecting the rest of us to “King Of Queens” and “Two And A Half Men”.

Here’s a quick look at the winner for 2009, Free Doritos.

Riiiiight.

We humbly suggest you watch the following video Too Delicious, a finalist that year but not a winner, and ask yourself honestly who you think the Doritos marketing team secretly hoped would win?

Watching these two together, we can’t help but wonder if Doritos regretted their decision to let the viewing public choose the winner.

Looking back to 2010 we find the contest now taking the top three to the Super Bowl. Perhaps still smarting from how poor their winner was in 2009, Doritos wisely decided to hedge their bets and make sure something of quality got on the air.

What wound up happening though was that the top four spots, while we guess we could admit were decent if not brilliant, paled in comparison to the simplicity and wit of Kids These Days, the last-place finalist.

 

For this year’s contest we can only hope that the best gets its due reward, though looking at the final five is disheartening to say the least. There are perhaps two of any value, while the rest are sub-par and are taking up finalist slots that should rightfully have gone to better entries. The problem is we have taken a quick tour of the non-finalists in the contest, and couldn’t really come up with anything better.

What does that mean for this year’s Doritos’ commercials? If we’re lucky we’ll get two great spots during the game and one decent one. If past contests are any indication, however, the three worst spots will win the votes and Doritos will have wasted $9 million on airtime.