In the years before Super Size Me, a lonely fat guy named Jared Fogle embarked on a journey of weight loss and personal discovery. This spot from 2001 shows all of the other wackos that tried his classic Subway Diet and achieved similar results. It’s easy to lose weight when all you eat is lettuce and bread.

We’re surprised Jared didn’t get his own television show. There would be Jared Fogle of course, weight loss champion and Subway foodie. He would have a girl interest that wasn’t into him, but he’d struggle to get her attention. A wacky neighbor of course — oh! The neighbor can work at Togo’s Subs and that would be a source of tension between them!

Now that we put it out there it will most likely come true, and for that we apologize.