Hey! That commercial makes us want to fill out our census paperwork! No, that’s not true. It makes us go, oh wait didn’t the government send us something at some point that wasn’t a bill or a lawsuit? What did we do with it… what did we do with it… oh. It seems to have been a coaster for the last few weeks. Well, you have to admit… it kind of makes a nice coaster.

What were we talking about, again?

Hey. You know what? You’re welcome. Yes, we gain at least 10 pounds the day of the Superbowl. Yes, our wives start hating us a little more each year and yes, our fingers are permanently tinted orange by years of devouring Doritos and Cheetos – but, we gotta hand it to you, Superbowl. You’re fun. And, you’re welcome.

You gotta hand it to Coke, they know how to make a commercial. First of all, it’s funny. Second of all, it’s shot beautifully and makes us want to go on Safari like, immediately (especially if there’s a Coke at the end of the Safari… dammit, see how fast advertising works?) We’re fans of all the recent Coke commercials, and if Coke wasn’t as terrible for you as it was, we’d be bathing in the thing.

That’s… it? Really? Nevermind the fact that very few men will actually drink a beer that proudly displays how few calories it has — but, couldn’t you have thought of something a little more clever than that, Budweiser? That wasn’t even an idea, that was sliding a piece of ice along your bottle of beer and having a VO advertise the product. That may work in your normal every day commercialing but not in the Superbowl!

You’ve failed us, Budweiser.