So it turns out that Darth Vader, or at least the actor that everyone assumed to be a little person (everyone meaning us), is actually a little kid! He’s not much of a talker, this little one, but he’s a cutie and should break a few hearts when he’s older… that is, if his stage mom lets him consort with other women. We’ve definitely seen her featured on Toddlers & Tiaras and we think, though we can’t be positive, that she had her little Sith Lord dressed up as a girl for that one.
Best and Worst Of The 2011 Super Bowl
February 7, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Super Bowl XLV has come and gone, and while we may have no earthly clue who won the game (hey, we were sitting here blogging the commercials all day), what we do know is every single commercial that aired. Oh god, do we know those commercials. This was a great year for commercials overall, with most of them being pretty darn good, some of them being not a complete waste of time, and only a handful making us angry that we had eyes and ears with which to experience the terrible-ness of their terrible-ocity.
Let’s walk through the best and worst of the 2011 commercial add season, and see if we can’t learn from their successes, and from their failures. Oh will we learn from their failures.
Cellular South – 2011 – Samsung Galaxy S with All Share
February 7, 2011 at 12:44 pm
They’re going a bold route by trying to appeal to women with the Samsung Galaxy S. The iPhone has proven to be a big hit with women, men, young, old, alien, marsupial; so they must figure hey! If they’ll buy that, they’ll buy this phone too! No doubt the Galaxy S is an amazing smart phone with better capabilities and more freedom than the iOS devices, but trying to sell Android to the female phone buyers is… well, it’s like trying to sell Linux to almost anybody on the planet. We love our iPhones, so it’s going to take a lot more than a sneezing bear to pry it out of our cold, dead hands. Not to imply that we’re dead right now or anything.
Suzuki – 2011 – Kizashi vs. Wicked Weather
February 7, 2011 at 12:40 pm
We’re not sure if there is a way to make CGI snowmen look realistic, but if there is, then whoever made this commercial hasn’t found it. File this ad under “typical car commercial”, or alternately you can cross-reference it under “waste of ad spend dollars”. There’s no reason to air this boring a commercial during the Super Bowl when you could spend half the money and put it on before or after, or better yet, just not at all.
Sealy Posturepedic – 2011 – After Glow
February 7, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Sealy manages to show everyone that you can include sex in your Super Bowl commercial and get it on the air, you just have to be classy and obscure about it. Watch as dozens of beautiful people smile from what we can only assume from the lighting, is their session of afternoon delight. Sealy must be hit hard by everyone buying those crazy astronaut space foam mattresses, so they come out swinging by reminding us that everything is better on springs. Why is that you think… because of the squeaky sounds they make?
Limitless – 2011 – Trailer
February 7, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Okay, we’ve never heard of this movie until now and we have to say: we’re interested. Not sold entirely, but very interested. Could it be that Robert DeNiro has taken a role in a film in which he’s actually read the script first? Is Bradley Cooper the next Robert DeNiro? Will Bradley Cooper stop reading scripts before agreeing to do terrible movies? So many questions, we can only hope that Limitless has the answers. And did you check out that awesome transparent pill?
Chevy Camaro – 2011 – Miss Evelyn
February 7, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Darth Vader better slow down with that “best of the game” prize… this Camaro commercial came out of nowhere and has won our hearts with its snappy banter, great voice acting, and fantastic driving footage. This doesn’t really have the material to be a viral hit, it’s a little to complicated and has too much… we don’t know, talking? But it’s definitely a great spot. If there’s one award it should get though, it’s “why the hell is there no HD version on your YouTube channel, Chevrolet?” award.
Chevrolet – 2011 – Glee Promo
February 7, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Glee is kind of the show that everyone either loves, hates, or pretends to hate but really loves. There may be people out there who pretend to love it but really hate it, but that would be kind of sick and twisted and we’re not sure we want to live in the world like that. We suppose that Glee is nothing but good clean fun, but it really just seems like bad song covers with some poor writing scribbled between the musical numbers. That’s about it, right?
Mercedes-Benz – 2011 – Welcome
February 7, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Mercedes is apparently introducing a line of self-stealing cars that will just remove themselves from your driveway and start tear-assing around the desert. P. Diddy is not amused in the least, though we find it hard to believe that if this were to happen in real life he wouldn’t just hop into his BMW or Bentley and start a high-speed pursuit, while still wearing his robe. Really, serious question: do people actually wear robes anymore?
Skechers – 2011 – Break Up 2 Shape Up
February 7, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Despite our intense dislike for spelling words numerically, we really wanted to like this ad, mainly because Kim Kardashian is so amazingly gorgeous. The problem is that for all of her beauty and worldly experience, she cannot speak a line naturally to save her life. You’d think with the millions spend to produce and air this thing they could at least afford to get the poor girl an acting coach or something?
Bridgestone – 2011 – Carma
February 7, 2011 at 12:12 pm
They spelled “Carma” with a “c”, get it? This is sort of a “pay it forward” type thing, only as it applies to the animal kingdom, or “today you, tomorrow me” if you’re a Redditor. What we can’t shake is the feeling that they’re promoting terribly unsafe driving practices by suggesting we should stop for little forest critters when they come into the road. It’s not as if we go out of our way to run them over if we do see a creature on the highway, but isn’t it awfully dangerous to stop suddenly to avoid hitting little forest dwellers?
Rio – 2011- Trailer
February 7, 2011 at 12:07 pm
What do you get when you combine Ice Age, Happy Feet, and the most annoying iOS game ever that we just can’t stop playing please delete it from our iPhones?! You get Rio, what looks to be a charming tale about a bird that can’t fly, but apparently dances, and quite well thank you very much. We expect him to be ridiculed by his peers but loved by a girl that can see his true potential, and he may have to overcome incredible odds in order to succeed where others have failed. Sorry, did we just spoil it for you?
Don’t forget to keep an eye out for an Angry Birds code to unlock a level in the game.
