Worst 3 and Best 3 Superbowl 2010 Commercials

Let us start off by saying, generally, we’re unimpressed Superbowl-Commercial-Creators. This was not a great year for you. The commercials felt a bit like chewed gum — flavorless, dull with a strong feeling of, we’ve seen this before, haven’t we? Aside from our top commercial listed after the jump, we didn’t think anyone brought anything new to the table. We’ve always believed that art — and yes, filmmaking and commercial making is, in fact, an art — must make you react strongly. Either you hate it, or you love it. The fact is, these commercials made us neither hate them nor love them — they made us “eh” them, and that, that is the worst thing of all.

US Census 2010 Super Bowl Commercial

Hey! That commercial makes us want to fill out our census paperwork! No, that’s not true. It makes us go, oh wait didn’t the government send us something at some point that wasn’t a bill or a lawsuit? What did we do with it… what did we do with it… oh. It seems to have been a coaster for the last few weeks. Well, you have to admit… it kind of makes a nice coaster.

What were we talking about, again?

NFL – The Best Fans in the World – Super Bowl 2010

Hey. You know what? You’re welcome. Yes, we gain at least 10 pounds the day of the Superbowl. Yes, our wives start hating us a little more each year and yes, our fingers are permanently tinted orange by years of devouring Doritos and Cheetos – but, we gotta hand it to you, Superbowl. You’re fun. And, you’re welcome.

Coke – Sleepwalking – Super Bowl 2010

You gotta hand it to Coke, they know how to make a commercial. First of all, it’s funny. Second of all, it’s shot beautifully and makes us want to go on Safari like, immediately (especially if there’s a Coke at the end of the Safari… dammit, see how fast advertising works?) We’re fans of all the recent Coke commercials, and if Coke wasn’t as terrible for you as it was, we’d be bathing in the thing.

Budweiser – Select 55 – Super Bowl 2010

That’s… it? Really? Nevermind the fact that very few men will actually drink a beer that proudly displays how few calories it has — but, couldn’t you have thought of something a little more clever than that, Budweiser? That wasn’t even an idea, that was sliding a piece of ice along your bottle of beer and having a VO advertise the product. That may work in your normal every day commercialing but not in the Superbowl!

You’ve failed us, Budweiser.

NCIS LA – Are you following me?

What does that even mean? 94 million viewers follow NCIS? Really? Like… total? Every episode? Why do we not believe that number, so much? Or do they mean 94 million have at some point in time accidentally, while crowd-surfing, watching a second of the show?

94 million… really?!

Doritos – Gym

We’re pretty certain this is one of the homemade Doritos commercials for the Doritos “Make Your Own Commercial” contest. Not bad, guys, not bad. We hated last year’s winner and so far, this one is funnier — but not by much. We’re not super keen on it, but, hey, let’s give Doritos some credit for allowing the little guy to get some attention for their filmmaking abilities (while simultaneously making Doritos a commercial).

Intel – Lunch Room

Well, that one was just sad, wasn’t it? But then, which one of us hasn’t offended a robot? Especially with new technology coming out every other day, it’s easy to forget how our VHS players or Zip drives feel. I think it’s time we all took a moment, went to our basement, and told them how much we loved them. Come on, get to it.

E*Trade Baby – Girlfriend – Super Bowl 2010

How can you not love the E-Trade baby? Honestly, how? It’s like they took the best part of “Look Who’s Talking?” and cross-bred it with the stock market — creating a Frankenstein monster of pure genius. Seriously, it’s adorable, it’s funny and, again, how can you not love the E-Trade baby?

Bridgestone – Your Tires or Your Wife – Super Bowl 2010

Oh, silly super villain with your silly immigrant accent! Oh, silly driver, with your unnatural love of tires and your lack of love for your wife! Oh, hilarious hijinx when these two joyfully amusing characters meet!

Oh, Bridgestone! I can’t wait to trade in our wife for you!