You know, we think we’re pretty environmentally conscious but that commercial made us feel like jerks. Okay, so we don’t compost sometimes! Maybe not all of our light bulbs are those energy savor thingies! And yes, we buy plastic bottles because… well because what else do we drink our water in? CUPS?! You know what, now we’re mad at the earth. Thanks, Audi.
It’s the last day before the Superbowl weekend and so we have graciously decided to give you not one news story but small chunks of several to feed your Superbowl commercial hungry. Yes, there’s more Tim Tebow abortion news (now he hates babies and wants to kill ones that aren’t even fetuses! Tim, why?!), there’s a 2.5 million government ad buy, some GoDaddy news and even a trailer for an M. Night Shyamalyan movie that, while we hate to spoil the ending, will suck.
Forget gay men kissing, football players not aborting and men with their heads in their ass — we’ve got something better, something bigger, something… dare we say… magical. What is it? Oh, get excited, young wizard, as we have the first commercial (to be aired at the Super Bowl) for the Harry Potter theme park. Oh, yes, baby, it’s quidditch time.
There’s going to be a whole lot of commercials aired this Sunday for the Super Bowl. Some of them will be controversial and tell you not to kill babies (even babies you own!) and some of them will just feature hot chicks, beer and people getting hurt. But what you won’t see are the commercials below — because the commercials below are a special kind of commercial — they are banned commercials. Sent out of the veritable Eden that is the Super Bowl by the hard hand of God (CBS) for their transgressions — be it for being too violent, too sexy, or too Sodom and Gomorrah-ey.
CBS has finally accepted a Super Bowl commercial for a video game called Dante’s Inferno by Electronic Arts — but it wasn’t easy. EA had to agree to change their ”Go to Hell” tagline to a much more family friendly, “Hell Awaits” — even though CBS still kind of preferred their own version of the tagline: ”Hell Awaits Pro-Choicers.”
Did you know that Florida’s Tim Tebow is not only a quarterback dynamo but also alive because his mother didn’t kill him? It’s true! In fact, it’s so true that CBS will allow a conservative group called Focus on the Family to air a 30-second ad in which Tebow’s mother tells the amazing story of how she didn’t decide to get rid of her son… and then drinks a Pepsi!
