The Doritos people have put their collective heads together and chosen the five final entries for the Crash The Super Bowl Contest. From a man who thinks he’s a bird to a homicidal canine, these entries run the gamut from attempts at humor to almost being funny. At least one, probably more, will be featured during Super Bowl XLVI on February 5, plus get the chance to work with the Lonely Island team on a future Doritos project.
We’re not sure if this is a new thing, or what. Maybe celebrities have always appeared in Doritos contest entries, but never made the finals? We don’t think so, because this year it seems like every B-List (and that’s being generous) celebrity is trying to get in on the Crash The Super Bowl action by being a part of one of the contest entries.
Now THIS is a Doritos commercial… and a Crash The Super Bowl contest winner, so we’re pretty sure Obama’s going to get re-elected (don’t ask about the logic of that, just trust us, it works out). The little-known healing power of Doritos is put to good use when a jerk of a friend forgets to water the goldfish or some nonsense while his buddy is away. Why he thought it was a good idea to resurrect grandpa we’ll never quite know, but this sounds like it has the makings of a great new zombie movie.
The best part of a bag of Doritos, according to this winning entry from the Crash The Super Bowl contest, is the crap left at the bottom of the bag when you’ve eaten all of the actual food. We’re once again left wondering at the decision making process of the screening committee for these entries, since I would probably want people to consider the actual food product that I sell to be the best part, not the salt and spices that’s actually only fit for a bird or dog to eat. But that’s just me.
This is a Crash The Super Bowl contest winner that everyone but us seems to really, really love. Like, it’s apparently the funniest thing on planet Earth to the YouTube commenting crowd, which admittedly is not saying much. Bad acting and a half-baked idea (get it? Because stoners love Doritos!) make this one of the worst commercials we’ve ever seen come out of that otherwise worthwhile contest.
We shudder to think what this woman’s breath must be like after eating a bag of “Smoky Red Barbecue” Doritos. It’s almost as if we’re expected to believe that hot chicks have no bodily functions whatsoever. Are we even clear about what exactly these men are turned on about? Is it the woman, or the chips? If the chips really set off fire alarms then should she really be taking a route through the library everyday?
First off, that title is a bit misleading: we obviously haven’t watched every single Doritos runner-up, there are just way too many entries and way too little time. The real point here is to highlight fantastic entries from the past few years that for whatever bizarre reason either didn’t make it to the finals, or made it, and didn’t win.
It seems like every year there are finalists in the Crash The Super Bowl contest that either don’t deserve to be there, don’t deserve to win, or both (I’m looking at you, magic-eight-ball-in-the-crotch winner from 2009). Whether it’s bad acting, a bad idea, or just plain not being funny (again, looking at you Free Doritos), we’ve always suspected that there were better options lurking beneath the surface.
Doritos is at it again, and this year they’re taking Pepsi MAX along for the ride. The Crash The Super Bowl contest finalists have been chosen, and as usual it’s a mixed bag of mostly awful commercials. It seems like there’s a reason that big ad agencies and big production companies do big commercials.
The five Doritos finalists are below. When we can bring ourselves to watch the awfulness that is sure to surround the Pepsi MAX entries, we’ll post them too!
The best part about this funny spot is that it puts ordinary-looking people in a sexy situation, but their appearance isn’t the butt of the joke. In other words, the fact that it’s utterly repulsive has nothing to do with their looks. Rather, it has everything to do with them having sex behind a supermarket checkout counter, with Doritos somehow involved. Gross.
We really wish we could unsee the thought movie that this spot plays in our minds.
Kina Grannis was the Doritos “Crash The Super Bowl” winner, and for her efforts she got a 60-second music video in front of one of the largest television audiences of the year. We know, you weren’t reading any of this, you were too busy being smitten by her adorable good looks and disarming voice. We can’t even imagine what it must have felt like to be able to share your work with so many people on such a large scale, then to fade into immemorability.
Yes, it’s a word. Or at least it should be a word.
