We take back nothing we’ve ever said about GoDaddy: this commercial is just as awful as anything they’ve ever subjected us to. They’ve even added a QR code to the screen, as if in recognition of the fact that you’re looking for anything else to do besides watch the commercial. Oh, and the Pussycat Dolls.
This year’s advertisers are bringing to the airwaves more hotly anticipated commercials than ever before, and are using every marketing trick in the book to draw in viewers and keep them interested. Today we’ll run down the most anticipated spots of the year, and show you what’s already been released to tease eager fans hungry for their Super Bowl commercial fix. You may not even know that you’re anticipating some of these commercials, but trust us, you are.
GoDaddy has released their first ad for this year’s Super Bowl. It features Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels decorating a (presumable nude) model with body paint while reciting marketing-speak about GoDaddy’s “.co” domain registration. In short, it sucks, and you can get a look at it after the break.
Between sponsoring and un-sponsoring SOPA and making pointless Super Bowl commercials, it’s a wonder anyone at GoDaddy has the time to come up with any good ideas. Well it turns out someone has! GoDaddy is offering some lucky schmo two plane tickets to Indianapolis, tickets to Super Bowl XLVI, three nights in a hotel, plus transpo to the stadium.
GoDaddy seems to be losing its edge as it approaches its eighth consecutive Super Bowl ad appearance (has the internet even been around that long?). Super Bowl XLVI marks the first time that they’ve managed to not get anything rejected when submitting the original commercial scripts to the hosting network. In other words, there’s an outside chance that this year’s GoDaddy spots won’t be completely terrible.
We’re pretty sure we heard a million horny husbands cry out in terror when they revealed the new GoDaddy.CO girl. The most awful thing about this is how amazing her body looks and how impossible it is to justify that with the state of her face after all these years and all those surgeries. We’re pretty sure at this point that Joan Rivers will never die, she’ll just take over her daughter’s body when it’s time for her consciousness to be transplanted. We don’t know if they’ll swap brains or do some sort of Inception-style mind meld or what, but keep on the lookout for a news report about her daughter’s disappearance sometime during the next millenium.
The advertiser that everyone loves to hate has given us all an early Super Bowl present: they’ve released one of their two spots that will be airing on February 6 during Super Bowl XLV. This first commercial is called “The Contract”, and features Jillian Michaels and Danica Patrick. As promised, they are saving their third Go Daddy girl for a “big reveal” in the other spot to air during the game.
And the real question is, does anyone care?
The story is that GoDaddy, in partnership with .Co Internet SaS (someone actually named their company that?) will be showing off a GoDaddy.Co girl in their Super Bowl spot, unless they feel like being jerks and making us go to their website for the full reveal. Which honestly, we probably won’t, because we can’t imagine living in a universe in which we care.
The CEO of that .Co company actually, we mean seriously actually, said that all of the cool names are taken up in the .com world, but .co is, like, wide open. Stop and think about that for a minute: that’s their entire business plan! “Dot-com is full so come on over to dot-co. It’s almost the same!”. That’s like when you try to go to Starbucks but the line is too long, so you go get the crappy coffee from the bakery next door.
So in addition to Danica Patrick and that hot chick from The Biggest Loser, keep an eye out for a super secret girl in a commercial associated with a company that is vaguely associated with GoDaddy.
Women are starting to take Super Bowl Sunday over through the back door: by dominating the commercials.
At the top of the news heap is the announcement by Teleflora (which is apparently the world’s leading floral delivery service? Did they make that up?) that Faith Hill will be appearing in their Super Bowl spot, promoting ”The Collection by Faith Hill”. The commercial has been described as “laugh-out-loud funny”, most likely by Teleflora’s marketing team.
The hot Kardashian sister (Kim, if you actually need that spelled out for you) has also just revealed that she has been working on a Skechers Super Bowl spot for ShapeUps, which is almost guaranteed to be a shoe judging by the fact that she’s wearing them on her feet. At least we hope so.
Hill and Kardashian will be having one big girly pillow fight (in our minds, anyway) against a trio of GoDaddy spokeswomen. Danica Patrick will obviously be returning, along with Jillian Michaels and a third “big-name” GoDaddy girl to be revealed within the commercial itself.
It’s, like, so mysterious isn’t it? As if, had they told us who the third girl was to be, nobody anywhere would bother watching the commercial, or maybe not even the game itself. Thank you GoDaddy for saving the Super Bowl!
Wow, we feel dumber just for watching this garbage.
If they can afford to give away domains for $1.99 and still put terrible commercials in the Super Bowl every year, can they just spare us the ads and give domains away for free? GoDaddy, what is that even supposed to mean anyway?
The wizards at GoDaddy’s marketing department need to watch a Victoria’s Secret spot, then they’ll see how to really get a man’s attention.
