Like the atom’s nucleus, the safety ring around a bottle of Aspirin’s cap, or the taste of bile that accompanies the mere hearing of Katy Perry’s name, certain things in life are almost inseparable. And not too many people will debate your putting Doritos and football in a pretty high rank on that list.

Let’s be honest: What could be better than sitting your ass on the couch to watch a few hours of football accompanied by a bag (or seven) of Cooler Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos? OK, football, Doritos, and beer, yes, that’s better. (Or maybe going outside now and then…)

Beyond the delicious crunch that the beloved Doritos tortilla chip offers its aficionados year-round, we have also, in recent years, been treated to a special annual event, courtesy of the good folks over at Doritos, the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl commercial contest! Every year, thousands of submissions pour in, and we can only imagine the gut-wrenching misery they must cause for the folks who have to screen them all. Fortunately, from out of the morass of awful homemade commercial clutter emerge a few great submissions, the finalists that we, the public, get to vote on!

The winners of the contest will not only have their commercials shown DURING THE GODDAMN SUPER BOWL, which is awesome, but they also stand to win huge bucks, which is great for them. Add to that the fact that the finalists get the chance to work with director/producer Michael Bay, which is great for Michael Bay, because maybe he can learn how to make a decent film thanks to some scrappy young innovators.

Don’t hold your breath for that, of course. But DO take a look at the 2013 Doritos Crash the Super Bowl commercial contest’s finalists, because there is some comic gold in there!

Here are the five finalists – enjoy, and make sure to vote for your favorite! This contest could launch a few filmmakers into a great career (as long as they can keep from throwing their hands up in abject desperation after working with Bay, that is).


Or peruse at your leisure, starting with:

Some wackiness at the grocery store:

A man and his goat:

The obligatory little kid commercial:

Some fellahs cutting loose:

And a “magic” dog who brings mixed results: