Update: The Super Bowl teams on Sunday February 6 will be the Pittsburgh Steelers vs. the Green Bay Packers. The playoff games on Sunday were intense match-ups, and we can only hope that Super Bowl XLV will be similarly exciting. We know that it won’t be, but we can only hope.

We’ll just leave our original article on the playoff teams right here for your reading pleasure. It’s good information for studying up for the big game.

New York Jets (AFC)

Record going into the AFC Playoffs: 13-5

Offensive Highlights: QB Sanchez threw three touchdown passes with no interceptions versus favored rivals New England Patriots.

Defensive Highlights: Watch David Harris pick off Tom Brady’s pass and waddle 58 yards down field. Seriously, it looks like the guy is carrying a pot roast.


Little-known fact: The Jets’ most famous player, Joe Namath, is responsible for the current glut of celebrity athlete endorsements, having starred in a tasteless series of commercials for Beautymist pantyhose in which he wears the product on camera.

Pittsburgh Steelers (AFC)

Record going into the AFC Playoffs: 13-4

Team Bad-Ass: Troy Polamalu.  First he snags an interception in the end-zone versus the Titans, then sacks the QB later in the game by diving over the line with his arms outstretched like he was freaking Neo in The Matrix.


Team Dumb-Ass: Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. In 2006 he took his motorcycle for a joy-ride around Pittsburgh, despite having no valid license, not wearing a helmet, and not being allowed to ride a motorcycle according to his contract. As should have been predicted given the circumstances, he slammed into a truck and broke its front windshield with his head. Paramedics worked quickly to ensure that Ben was ineligible for that year’s Darwin Award.


Green Bay Packers (NFC)

Record: 12-6

Why They’re Awesome: It wasn’t good enough for them to be the only team to win three consecutive NFL titles, so they did it twice. Once under their founder Lambeau and again under the direction of Vince Lombardi. Oh right, and they also hold a record 12 World Championships.

Why You Probably Hate Them: Because their fans call themselves cheeseheads, which is just insufferable. They are also the only worthwhile thing to ever come out of Wisconsin other than cheese and beer, and most of the beer is really pretty terrible.

Why Their Opponents Fear Them: Because of plays like this… watch Williams prance like a pony just before he trots over the end zone.


Chicago Bears (NFC)

Record: 12-5

What’s So Special?: They not only hold the NFL record for most enshrinees (is that a real word?) in the NFL hall of fame, but they also hold the record for most regular season and overall wins than any other NFL franchise.

What’s Annoying About Them: Thanks to unfunny Saturday Night Live sketches lampooning their most famous head coach Mike Ditka, it is apparently physiologically impossible for anyone to say the name of the team without saying “Da Bears”. It kind of broke our hearts a little bit just typing it like that.

Why They’re Our Heros: They gave doggy-abuser Michael Vick his first interception in four years. That’s not such a great record though folks, since the only reason he held it is because he spent 19 months in prison. And everyone is getting all over Ricky Gervais for coming out as an atheist?