We were recently sent a link to the commercial fast food chain Jack in the Box says they’ll be running during Super Bowl XLVIII. As usual, it features their iconic “CEO” (e.g. an actor with a huge spherical white head and a pointy nose), and it introduces us to their newest offering, the Bacon Insider. Let’s let the company do the talking for themselves, here’s the copy their PR team sent us:

“Leave it to Jack to give bacon lovers what they want. A bacon triple-threat ­ the new Bacon Insider burger from Jack in the Box restaurants takes bacon to unprecedented levels with a craveable [sic] sandwich featuring a juicy beef patty with savory bacon pieces mixed right in, sandwiched in-between six half slices of hickory smoked bacon, and topped with a creamy bacon mayo sauce. And if that’s not enough, you also get lettuce, tomato and American cheese- all severed on Jack in the Box’s new gourmet brioche bun. The Bacon Insider is available for a limited time only at participating Jack in the Box restaurants.”

Ah… sounds like delicious myocardial infarction, right there! How much bacon does one actually need before they simply switch to a bucket filled with lard and skip the food all together? Listen, the burger sounds amazing, and the commercial is actually not bad – those little morks are charming; just watch the spot and you’ll know what we mean – it’s just that our arteries hurt when we think about that burger with its triple-pronged bacon attack.

We have to admit two other things about the ad: first, we admit that we’re jealous of the curly fry tree. Second, the ad’s jingle is actually kind of catchy. Maybe not quite in the way of the famous “Chili’s baby back ribs—barbeque sauce!” song, but it sticks in your head.