Oh boy, where to start? This year’s crop of Super Bowl commercials was one of the least inspired in recent memory; picking the five worst commercials from Super Bowl XLVIII is like trying to figure out which was the least enjoyable time you stubbed your toe: they all pretty much suck (the toe stubbing, we mean. Oh and the ads, those too).

There were no truly wretched ads this year (remember that KIA ad from 2013? The “Hot Bots” spot? Now THAT was a bad commercial), but we still think we managed to fairly identify the worst offenders. If you hadn’t gotten up to hit the bathroom while any of these five spots were running, then you were robbed of a few seconds of your life each time.

#5 – Squarespace – “A Better Web Awaits”

This mildly creepy commercial surely turned some fans off just by being weird. But that wasn’t our major problem with it: the real issue is that we get what the company was saying about the cluttered and confusing state of the web today… but we have no idea what products or services they offer that other companies don’t (such as GoDaddy.com, who released much more informative ads). When your Super Bowl ad doesn’t set you apart, it doesn’t work!

#4 – Bud Light – “Cool Twist”


This commercial was just boring, simple as that. It featured a bunch of digitally enhanced images of aluminum Bud Light bottles with twist off caps spinning around on the screen and that’s about it. Throwing in some dance club tunes didn’t help.

#3 Chevrolet – “Romance”


This commercial starts off seeming sincere, in the vein of the famous Ram commercial from last year called “Farmer,” but then it tries to segue into a rather crass joke about mating cows. Its potential window of appeal is also very narrow, with the Silverado coming across as only appropriate for rural settings. So… not funny though it tries to be, and limiting despite the biggest audience of the year… fail.

#2 – Volkswagen – “Wings”


We hate to do this to you, VW… we’ve loved so many of your ads so much… but this year’s Volkswagen Super Bowl commercial just wasn’t funny at all. And look how hard they tried! Look at those sets and special effects! They must have spent millions of dollars on this painfully unfunny ad! We suppose the fact their commercials are traditionally so good only makes this one seem all the worse, and maybe we’re punishing them for that past success, but this was a really bad ad, and that’s that.

#1 – Hyundai – “Nice”


This commercial sucks. We’ll go on, but we don’t even feel like we need to, just watch the spot and you’ll agree. It starts out with a woman being needlessly cold to a gentleman who compliments her car, and then takes an immediate nosedive from there. Why does the road start blowing up all of the sudden? Why is there suddenly a ramp in front of that man’s Elantra? Why the hell is Richard Lewis in the back seat? Ah right, we know why! Because the “creative” executives charged with making a Hyundai commercial couldn’t come up with anything good, so they phoned it on in!