So it turns out that Darth Vader, or at least the actor that everyone assumed to be a little person (everyone meaning us), is actually a little kid! He’s not much of a talker, this little one, but he’s a cutie and should break a few hearts when he’s older… that is, if his stage mom lets him consort with other women. We’ve definitely seen her featured on Toddlers & Tiaras and we think, though we can’t be positive, that she had her little Sith Lord dressed up as a girl for that one.

Here’s the interview in question, but please avert your eyes if you’re sensitive to boring conversations or awkward pauses.